Is good to be back

Well, I would not say things got worse in the past weeks. Things had been bad, but everything always goes both ways. As we once always said : "We have good news, and bad news."

The ignorance she gave me no doubt brought despair to me, knowing we could end up being back to strangers. The good things is, the few days of silent had me making a lot of thinking, constructive ones of course. Thoughts of the past and current, my and her action, our attitudes and personalities, mindsets and plannings, it all taken into account.

I found out that, yes we do share a lot of similarities in terms of personalities. But when it comes to mindsets, we both share different way of life. I wanted to live a simple life, where nothing else matters except happiness, despite whether are we in poverty or wealth. "You only live once", a famous quote use by everyone. What else would matters more than seeking to live a life that you will never regret, life of enjoyment for the better or worse, life of excitement for the joy and pain. What matters the most is make your every day meaningful while you still can, wealth can be the second tier.

Meanwhile, you would prefer a financially secure life. Before your youth ends, you would prefer to fight to be successful in your career. You would like to make sure that you could retired early from being an employee, and spending the next chapter of your life being a employer instead. I don't see any wrong in those thinking, but I just think that life is so much more than that.

Not everything will goes as smooth as what we want, and sometimes we have to accept the facts and act accordingly. But never let this to be an excuse for us to be slacking from reality and stop chasing for our own dreams. The thing is, we have to learn not to be bull-headed on the things that were never meant to be ours, and learn to move on.

As an example, I dreamed of having a simple relationship where we could just be together without worrying about anything else but happiness. Sharing the same enjoyment of life instead of being in the rat race of life. Somehow, not everything you wish for comes true. Here I am in love with this girl now who shared something different from me. Isn't it ironic.

How would I put this? Her life had been near perfect with the charming looks, strong personalities, smart attitudes, supportive families, pampering friends, financially capable and tons of admirers. As on the other hand, I am just silly looking, weird personalities, dumb attitudes, happy go lucky and simple guy who struggling day to day to make sure I would be financially carefree in the future. What I have is just tons of lovely and supportive friends who treasure me and a troublesome family who always be there for me. Maybe I am just out of your league I suppose.

But I do believe the perfectness of you is just the view and looks of outsiders, somewhere deep in you, maybe these are not the things you are seeking for. I am not you, I am not in the place to judge who you are.

Today you once remind me again how stupid I had became. To be madly in love and afraid of losing, I tried so hard to impress you, losing myself to desperate and negatives, end up pushing you away. But after the few days of brain storming, is never too late to move back my own path. Mother nature is always so beautiful with natural beings. So of courses, things that happened unexpectedly yet naturally would always be the best moments. I am back to my own self, that would prefer to spend time knowing you than trying to woo you. Let's sit back and watch what happens next. If we never meant to be, what for forcing right? Definitely, the best are yet to come, and we could still be friends, and maybe best friends! The Aquarius Duo!

Meanwhile, I would just do what I do best, be crazy and stupid, be random and energetic, that is how my charm come from I suppose.

"Don't worry be happy" I would say.

怎么了。。。

踢完足球，身体还不累，然而累的是我的心。
手机拿起，期待的是你，希望是我想多了。
想着想着，还是觉得不对劲，给你个短信问候。
然而心想，爱情怎么了？

肚子饿了，晚餐得吃，但不想在外吃，只好回家。
回到家，开始找东西吃，仍然没胃口，只能泡杯咖啡，点饼干。
奇怪，我平时爱喝的白咖啡，便得淡淡无味，饼干显得比较咸了。
然而心想，友情怎么了？

自从长大以来，我学会了乐于助人，用心对待人，以德报怨。
朋友们都说我太过好，容易被人伤害，容易被人占便宜。
个人想法，好有好报，虽然被人伤了，我仍然对得起自己的良心。
遍遍呢，上天嘛，还是那么喜欢跟我开玩笑。

人总是只会看别人的坏处吗？
人总是只会看别人的缺点吗？
还是说，我的真心，我的诚意，我的善良，我的傻，完全被自己的不完美给掩盖了。

第一次遇见你，傻傻的我吸引了你，你自然的来加我脸书。
谈了话，约了会，感情渐渐增加。
告了白，你也说你喜欢我，也给了我希望。
日子久了，然而一切都没了吗？

我自问待你不差，一心一意，只想要你开心。
我的关心，我的体贴，我的包容，我的迁就，我的爱，我觉得你应该满清楚。
但头来，你不感动，然而只会觉得内疚。
我的诚实，我的真意，换来的然而是我很假吗，甚至呢，上了危险人物头条。

对，人其实不完美，只是有比较好或坏。
我的缺点，我的借口，确实不好，然而我努力地在改。
但是不懂为什么，直觉告诉我，你已对我有偏见了，或是我让你反感了。
现在，我做什么都好，你脑里只会把我想坏，甚至会离我而去。

”慧琳啊慧琳，你是怎么了？“ 我好想这样问你。
早上你突然说我是危险人物，你叫我别问，那我也不问了。
后来你要说了，看到我不问，你然而不说了，你是不是也矛盾了。
其实，我只能说你想太多。
我不假，也不危险，只是太介意了。

昨天，我得到你的诚实，也接受了，好不容易想开了。
然而，今天，你的对待，仍然好绝情。
我真的不知道我做错了什么，你要这样对我，昨天是你说你还要我们这段友情。
但是我看来，那也化为乌有了。
原来，我们彼此之间的感情，是那么的脆弱。

此时此刻，我什么都不要了，只想要回我的朋友，要回个知己。
诚心诚意，只想当好朋友，没内意，也没恶意。
心已交出来，只看你如何看待。
如果真的连朋友也没了，我只能说谢谢你，曾经来过，也曾经离过。
祝福你，要开开心心的奋斗下去。